my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
