those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
