Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
