i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
