Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
