absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
