i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
