I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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