dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
