This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
