Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
