Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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