Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The struggles of a small town man whore
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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