I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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