She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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