Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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