Don't make out with my wife yet
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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