There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need water and some morals
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
