There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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