so explain again why im purple
no
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
