Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
