i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
