Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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