I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
