Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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