I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
