Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
