So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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