tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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