WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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