i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
