airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just want nice things and good sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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