I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I forget how to act sober
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
