no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
