How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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