It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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