I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
