Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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