I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
