One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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