well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
