Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
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