I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
