We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dicks are not precious.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
