i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
