Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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