You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
