Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
did you just send me my own nude
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
