We named our party play list daddy issues
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
