She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
