Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
